Over the holidays, I was given the illustrious WII Fit board and game. Finally gathering the energy (or courage) to try it I was a bit disappointed to have it point out to me something I was struggling with my whole life: it said I was off balanced. While its version of being unbalanced and mine were different, the essence was the same. It questioned my ability to walk. "Do you find yourself tripping when you walk?" it asked. I feel like I trip every chance I get. Looking back over the past year as well as my life as a whole, I see reflected back at me the mistakes, injuries, and failures. I see the mistakes I made with my children: Am I a good enough mother to them? ; My injuries to others whether in words or deeds: He is hurting becaue of me; My failures: Why didn't that art piece get accepted? No where in these instances did I see any good that has come out of my actions. I was just another individual lost on the concept of politics, drowning in the economy's woes as they say and feeling the pull of depression reining in after all these years without it.
While engaging my inner dialogue with self pity, I tried distracting myself with Facebook's various applications. One was the Cause page. As many of you know or have sent them yourself, it gives you an opportunity to belong to a cause that holds a special meaning for you and to pass that on to others to learn about it as well. I stopped on the home page and saw the word impact. What impact? other than my electric bill taking a hit from me being on the internet too much, I could not see the bigger picture. Maybe... the again...Maybe this was a start. Perhaps the things I saw over the years were a bit out of perspective. I began to think of the times when my eldest who is 7 would enjoy making handmade cards for those who were lonely or sick. For the times my youngest who is 4 ralized that others are not as lucky as us and wanted to share his blankets since he "had so many". Maybe I was a part of that...the impact. Maybe there was good in supporting my husband even when I feel I often disappoint with my antics of OCD. I look to a resume I can be proud of and strive to try harder in the new year.
So while I am off balanced and stumbling yet again toward a new year with my family and friends at my side, at least I know someone will catch me if I fall because I am not alone. Neither are you. Have a wonderful New Year!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Hello All, I wanted to share with you a new series of paper dolls I am doing called the Anyones. It is about two children called Henry and Gretchen Eneone (pronounced Anyones) who live in a house greatly need of repairs. Their favorite place to play is in the attic. There are various creatures called Dwyers and Omis ( helper of humans). They have befriended the children. One day the brother and sister discover a portal to another world hidden among their stacks of books. They easily cross the path into the world of Rayven and meet Chal, the leader and teacher. This is the first book of their adventures. The book contains the three figures which can be removed and placed in different settings . The book has interactive features as well.(Digital collage sheets used from the wonderful digitalcollagesheets.com Enjoy and as always love to know your thoughts
Posted by Tammy at 3:28 PM
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas.
I found this quote to be perfect. Lately it has been feeling a lot like Christmas to me but not in the way you may expect. I won't sugar coat it: things have been tough. Not just for my family (with my husband's job loss), but to those around us as well. People aren't buying like they usually do the economists say. We are in a recession (they just figured that out?) None of this is news to many of us. Then again maybe the economists aren't seeign what I'm seeing. Yeah, people are still spending, but amybe not as much for themselves. Maybe they are spending it on gifts more practical such as food to a family in need, or donating brand new items to make soemone's Christmas a bit more pleasant and easier. SO in the spirit of the upcoming season, I have to say that yeah since being on the receiving end of holiday cheer for the past 5 months, it sure feels like Christmas to me.
Posted by Tammy at 3:46 PM