Friday, January 16, 2009
The Words of the Day are : Creating in Chaos
Listen. Do you hear that? Exactly, nothing but silence. It sounds nice doesn’t it? Ah, and now it is time to create….whoa wait a minute. Hey stop that! Leave your brother alone! Don’t make me come in there!
Now that sounds more like the reality I know and thrive in. Yes, a Zen like studio would be wonderful. Think about it: perfect places to have everything. Paper all lined up neatly stacked with that brand new $300.00 desk purchased just for that purpose. All of the rubber stamps and embellishments would be lined up neatly by color and size (maybe even alphabetically if so desired). Yes, most of us can only dream of that plush room filled with all the space our little art making hearts desire. In my case, I am lucky to find some fraction of room on my dining room table, that is after competing with the leftover cereal bowels from breakfast (I won this round!)
However, in my case anyway, (as I am quite sure is the case for many of you), this is not a possibility. In my world especially over the past 2 and a half years I have grown quite accustomed to creating with the chaos surrounding me and most of the time invading my space (particularly my lap) while trying to create the greatest masterpiece (well, I am still working on that). For the past few years, after my eldest was about 1, my husband and I discussed the fact that he was debating on going back to school for his master’s degree. Sure, I said. I mean what could change really? (We said that before having kids too. ) I mean it wouldn’t be right to say no to him. He warned me that things would be different. I was only concerned about still being able to create in peace when needed to, perhaps a few times a week. We agreed to work it out. In the beginning, we did. I would work on some art over the weekends and feel like I accomplished something for myself besides cleaning and chasing a toddler around all day and he excelled in his schooling. Over that time, however, we decided to have another child. That is when the art in peace really began to end. I was taking care of a 2 year old and a newborn pretty much round the clock while my husband worked during the day, sometimes on the weekends and then went to school twice a week. (I am lucky enough to be a stay at home mom because if I had to throw working outside the home in the mix, I don’t think I would have made it!)
Now, it has been a few years since my husband has completed his degree. That sense of random madness has ceased but another has taken its place. As many of you know, my husband has been out of work for a while now. Things are only getting tougher with unemployment benefits running out soon and emergency ones taking a bit to get going. The question remains: If you had asked me a few years ago, would I be happy to get back to that peace and quiet in my art? I would have screamed YES! Now, I gratefully shout NO! Why, you ask? I don’t think I could go back to it. I have gotten used to trying to glue something with one hand and wiping little chocolate faces with the other. Duality is a common them in my life (and a bit in my art as well!) I am proud of the little pieces of beauty that get created in the chaos. Maybe they would never have survived in the silence.
So to everyone reading this, know that it is possible to create beautiful things among the rubble (in my case mounds of toys). One day my husband and I talk of moving into a bigger house when things are a bit more secure. I have secretly claimed the 4th bedroom for my studio. Until then, move aside cereal bowels, this is my space now!
Posted by Tammy at 9:31 PM